Monday, January 07, 2008

New Year's Resolutions II

Remember a while back when I gave you an example of resolutions that would be oh-so-easy to keep? Well, my good friend Mikey sent me this list today, and I felt called upon to share it with you.


Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish?

Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

~ Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
~ Stop exercising. Waste of time.
~ Read less. Makes you think.
~ Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
~ Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
~ Spend more time at work, surfing the web.
~ Take a vacation to someplace important, like to see the world's largest ball of twine.
~ Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
~ Stop bringing lunch from home--eat out more.
~ Don't have eight children at once.
~ Get in a whole NEW rut!
~ Start being superstitious.
~ Personal goal: Don't bring back disco.
~ Don't ride in a car driven by Britney Spears.
~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.
~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
~ Spend my summer vacation in cyberspace.
~ Create loose ends.
~ Get more toys.
~ Get further in debt.
~ Don't believe politicians.
~ Break at least one traffic law.
~ Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
~ Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.
~ Wait for opportunity to knock.
~ Focus on the faults of others.
~ Mope about faults.
~ Never make New Year's resolutions again.


Aim low. Reach your goals. Avoid disappointment.


Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it!

Have a great Monday, and God bless!


Mrs. Allroro said...

sounds pretty easy, but I know I'd have to use a word that used more than one syllable sooner or later. In fact, if I chose that resolution, I wouldn't be able to tell anybody becuase I wouldn't be allowed to say "syllable," and certainly not "monosyllabic" or "multisyllabic".

but i could try that one if i did not tell a soul what my goal was, right? i just got a good start, don't you think?

Becca said...

I think I did all those last year, darnit!